Wondertrash®

There's more drama in the life of celebrity rehabber Courtney Love. When we last heard from her she had some how managed to misplace the ashes of her late husband Kurt Cobain. You know how you can misplace things when you are stoned out of your head: your cell phone, your car keys, or your late husband's remains. Why it's something that might happen to anyone, though it must be said that it doesn't happen to everyone, but it also must be said that it keeps happening to Courtney. I'd suggest that Love check the most likely locations, like the vacuum; but given her slovenly appearance, I doubt that the Hoover ever gets much of a work out.

Well the latest installment of the Courtney Love saga, involves a 911 call, and that number most feared by celebrities - 5150 Hold. It seems that Courtney was dozing away happily one afternoon, perhaps enjoying some drug induced hallucinations, when there came a loud rapping at her front door. Her personal assistant - and be thankful you don't have that job - answered, only to wind up face to face with 10 or 15 police officers waving around fistfuls of paper work. Among the documentation was the appropriate warrants for entering the Love premises, plus a 5150 Hold order. That entitled the boys in blue to haul Love's ass off for an indefinite stay at the psych ward of their choosing.

So how could this happen to a responsible and hardworking single mom like Courtney?? Well it seems that someone put in a 911 call to the appropriate authorities, and managed to convince them that Ms. Love was about to do herself a mischief, of the suicidal variety. I had really hoped that we'd seen an end to this sort of mischief, where 911 emergency lines are abused to stir up shit, and even settle personal grudges, when some local busy body down in Wacko convinced The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, also known as the ATF, and The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight (ATF causalities at Wacko were cased by ATF agents shooting their own advance forces in the back, so great was their enthusiasm to get some action. The Branch Davidians called a temporary cease fire, so the ATF could removed their dead and wounded, in some cases even helping them move the bodies. Not that it prevented David Koresh and his followers from getting blown to Kingdom Come. No good deed goes unpunished!) that the Branch Davidians were armed to the teeth. As it turned out, there were only a few guns on the premises, and those were owned by a collector. Of course this was learned after the fact, and partly by shifting through the cinders.

Well you'll be happy to hear that Courtney managed to convince the authorities that, even if she wasn't exactly in sound mind, at least she wasn't suicidal. So, the $64 000 dollar question is "Who set the dogs on Courtney?" Close friends believe that some one is out to tarnish the singer's image. I'm not sure how you would go about tarnishing an image already so blackened. Besides, who could have a motive to undermine the image of a woman so universally beloved? On an unrelated note Courtney is going to court against some former employees. Love claims that the former staff members robbed her blind, to the tune of $22 million. Naturally the ex staff members have filed a counter suit, so it's a bonus case for the lawyers all the way 'round. Now why can't we all just get along? Well think of how many lawyers we'd put out of work if we did. Now they have to eat, too. Sheer bloody mindedness is good for the economy, which needs every boost that it can get these days!

Wondertrash anagram of the day:

Did you know that if your rearrange the letters in Courtney Love's name, you get the worsd "Very cool tune"? Now here's a very cool tune.

Wondertrash Bogus Zen: In Hollywood there is no black or white. There is only one race, the Rat Race. For as Lilly Thomlin pointed out, "the trouble with the rat race is that if you win, you're still a rat". In fact if you win, you might be even more of a rat! It shouldn't happen to a dog. Now aren't they an enlightened little community!