Wondertrash®

If Ellen DeGeneres has taught us anything (other than remember to read the fine print when you adopt a puppy) it's that the public should be supportive of celebrities who enter into lesbian relationships. If Anne Heche has taught us anything (other than that crystal meth drives you mad) it's that these high profile alternative arrangements can be at least as messy as the traditional kind. Take for example the increasingly messy personal life of Jodie Foster.

For about 14 years Jodie was involved in an alternative lifestyle arrangement - oh let's can the euphemisms and call it what it is if there's no shame in it - a lesbian love affair with partner Cydney Bernard. They even adopted two children together - Kit and Charles. They had become the poster family for alternative lifestyle arrangements.

However to observers on the inside of the Hollywood scene, the cracks in the relationship had begun to show years ago. While their home life was a picture of domestic tranquility, once parties and liquor got into the picture, things changed. For instance while out at Hollywood parties, Jodie would get herself loosened up on the liquid refreshments, park Cydney next to some long winded bore guaranteed to keep her busy for hours, and then take to hitting on all the attractive young women in the room. Cyndey was much too nice to walk away, so that gave Jodie free range of the room for the evening. Witnesses say that Jodie didn't care if the girls were gay or straight, but hit on anyone who caught her fancy. Once she even hit shamelessly on Susan Levin, a high profile Hollywood producer, and the wife of Robert Downey Jr (marry the brass! So that's how he made his career come back - the snaky bugger!)

So our Hollywood love birds had settle into a comfortable Bill and Hilary type arrangement. That is until things got way more serious. Now with a drunken, pushy lesbian lurching around pitching her woo willy nilly, then it was only gonna be a matter of time until some thing happened. That something was too happen on the set of Jodie Foster revenge fantasy flick The Brave One (on which the afore mentioned Ms Levin is was a producer). It was there that ms Foster met a woman by the name of Cyndy Mort - a screenwriter, again on the same film. Well folks say that Foster felt sparks flying immediately, and one thing lead to another.

Well it wasn't too long before Jodie got bored of her long time love. After carefully domesticating her, and molding Bernard into the kind of person who would met Foster's needs; a subservient partner and mother, it was time for something new. Friends say that Jodie still 'worships' Bernard as a mother and homemaker - but that the thrill is gone.

Now that brings us to those increasingly messy arrangements. Now while Cydney is out of the picture she is still on the premises - playing the role that she was born for; mother to Foster's brood and keeper of her home. Bernard will take over one of the couple's home full time, to raise the family. Meanwhile Foster has run off with her sizzling new girlfriend, Cyndy. Mort also has children, with former Thirtysomething actress Melanie Maryon. Now Cyndy and Maryon have moved out, but they still live on the same street. Even though we're supposed to be supportive of this new arrangements, I can help thinking that the sound as sordid and selfish as the usual old arrangements. I guess that there are only so many ways to reinvent the wheel.

Post Script: Hollywood's alternative life style arrangements are beginning to seem all to familiar. Instead of finding brave new ways to do it better, participants have merely fallen into the old patterns of selfishness and manipulation. Then again it is naive to expect better of people merely because they are lesbians, even in the Age of the Reverse Stereo-type. At least this nastiness has come to ahead before the laws on same sex unions opened up, and Bernard pressed Foster to make it official. Then Jodie really might have been on the hook responsibility wise. Then again, just because Jodie is a lesbian doesn't also mean that she can't be smart about her arrangements.

BTW at a recent awards show everyone thought it was sweet when Foster gave credit to her long time partner by calling her "My beautiful Cydney". That is except for those of us who could've sworn we heard her say "My beautiful Cindy". Not that I would read too much into that. Anyone can make a mistake.

Wondertrash Bogus Zen: Gun Dialectics

Remember that guns don't kill people, people kill people; people with guns that is. In fact a significant percent of guns in the USA are used in self defense. So they actually save lives, by killing the people who use guns to kill people. So it's either ban the guns, or ban people. Since the guns don't have a vote, or anyone to speak for them - except for fair minded people willing to take the guns side over the people's, like the NRA, it looks like it's the guns that may eventually have to bite the bullet. So score another point for humanism. Sheer bloody mindedness built this planet!