Wondertrash®

As Shania Twain and Mutt Lange square off - what's at stake? Well apart from their 6 year old son Eja D'Angelo ("Hey I'm Shania Twain, and I'm big enough and important enough to call my son any stupid name I want!"), there's a billion dollars in cash and assets spread out over at least three continents!

Now Shania didn't start at the top, but was born poor. She was an unknown country singer when super producer Robert "Mutt" Lange stumbled on her down in Nashville. He was OK with what he heard, and really liked what he saw, so 6 months later (December 1993) the couple were wed, and Shania began her career in global domination - of the country music industry.

Lange then set about to mastermind Shania's career. In 1995 Shania released "The Woman in Me", and sold 10 million albums. Her follow up "Come on Over" did even better, and sold 36 million albums! Now set for life - or even several lifetimes, there was nothing left to do but hole up in the fortress like castle in Switzerland, and get on each other's nerves.

Shania also set her mind on having a kid. Mutt was too keen on this, since it would require time off and Twain was hot at the moment. Beside he'd already had his kids, and didn't feel the same urgency. The National Enquirer even published one story at the time of Mutt trying to get Shania to join a bizarre no sex cult at the time. Shania persisted and eventually had her way.

So such was life in the hermit like environment of Lake Geneva, and the couple's new 61 000 acre spread in New Zealand. Mutt and Shania shared an existence of wealth, privilege, and obsessive privacy. Things hit a snag however, when the pair stepped back into the studio.

During the course of their musical partnership, Lange has called most of the shots, and has even been called a "Svengali". However when Shania went back into the studio last fall, she was a lot more assertive. Mutt apparently wasn't pleased with the new improved Shania - particularly the part about her developing a mind of her own - and there was trouble. The pair began arguing and haranguing about how the record was to come out. Meanwhile Lange developed a relationship with Shania's close friend and personal secretary - Anne Marie Theibaud.

Now the album is off, and the divorce is on. Lange has been through this before and so knows the ropes. However Shania has already hired her lawyers. Even though most people feel that most of the success in the partnership was due to Lange; Shania is reportedly out for everything that she can get. With Lange's highly publicized fling with Thiebaud, the fault is on his side legally. As for Shania, she is currently back in Ontario, hiding out among friends and family.

Random Gossip: There have been a spate of high profile bust ups lately: not one Shania Twain but Lovely Liv Tyler herself. The self deluded, and stalkers, will now be spoiled for choice and not know which way to turn.

Attention fans of Daniella van Graas - word has it that the new Aveeno Model is Claire Forlani. You'll still be seeing plenty of Danni-van though, her film career is picking up steam.

Pope Benedict 16 makes further statements on the possible existence of ET's. Il Papa says that not only may they exist, but that the might not suffer from original sin. If they also fell with may, then they would equally benefit from the Resurrection. Meanwhile they still haven't determined whether our pets will be waiting for us on high. Time for the 80+ year old pontiff to get an Alzheimer test. He can continue to run the now culturally irrelevant Church, but his driver's license has got to go!

Of course maybe the Pope knows something that we don't. According to former NASA scientist Dr Fred Bell, the American space project was full of space aliens and ex Nazis. Dr Bell claims to have briefly worked with Dr Werner von Braun, whom he describes as a psychotic ex SS officer. He also claims to have worked with a guy from the Pleiades. The guy never ate, wore a pyramid on his head, and slept in a hyperbaric chamber. The guy was either from space, or one real weirdo. You will be pleased to know that according to Dr Bell, there have been no human mutilations since 1979. Since then they have restricted medical research mutilations to cattle. The ET's are still as keen as ever on rectal probing though. Now I'm half inclined to belief the story, on the basis that you can't make anything that crazy up. Not unless you are on the same cocktail of hallucinogens as Hunter S Thompson, anyway.

I can't confirm this, but keep listening for buzz about Anne Hathaway starring a a movie based on comic book super heroine Kim Possible - depending on the success of Get Smart! Lindsay Lohan was originally being considered, and was keenly interested, but became too unreliable. Miley Cyrus was also a favorite, until her Vanity Fair misadventure. While both young women have publicly disgraced them self, Miss Hathaway - apart from her boyfriend Rafaello Folliere who is suspected of defrauding both the Catholic Church and Bill Clinton supporter Ron Buckle - still has a image so clean that it squeaks!

Speaking of Kim Possible, if Shania Twain was 25 years younger - Kim, possibly??

Wondertrash Bogus Zen: 'I have seen mountains, deserts, plains and the unimaginable creatures thereon (No, not really). But never have I come across a beautiful woman who is content with her appearance (That part is true!).'

Bushido: War sucks but freedom is worth it. If we can only put a stop to freedom, then it will all have been worthwhile!