Wondertrash®

It appears that life with Tom Cruise has changed poor obedient Katie Holmes, or Katebot as some are calling her. When Tom sunk his hooks into the young actress, a little while ago, he set out to mold this impressionable, unspoilt lump of clay into his perfect woman. It's much the same idea as Prof Henry Higgins in My Fair Lady, or Pygmalion from the myth on which the story is based. That means that Katie has had to live under a benevolent dictatorship. While some, people find that kind of situation reassuring, Katie feels like she is being smothered.

Sources say that Tom goes to great lengths to please his wife. They also say that his word is law, and he expects to be obeyed. For instance Tom recently got upset with Kate's continuing Posh Spice friendship. Posh has a big mouth, and it's usually loaded and ready for action - she's the kinda girl who says what she thinks with that "you can take me or leave me" attitude. Naturally this grates on Tom's nerves, so he's been pestering Katie to dump the Beckhams. Apparently this is one time that Katie stood her ground. She got to keep Victoria. Besides, people say that Tom is fond of David Beckham.

Tom does seem to recognize his wife's need for young, lively companions. That's why he recently booked a fun getaway at one of his pads with a very unlikely collection of guest. In addition to Tom and faithful Katebot were Seal and Heidi Klum, Kate Beckinsale and Len Wisman, plus of course the Beckhams. How's that for a motley crew. We may never know exactly what happened during the lost weekend, but as Tom enters his Ned Flanderish middle years, I assume many corny Kate 1 (Holmes-Cruise) and Kate 2 (Beckinsale) jokes were made. So who's up for some Twister?

Along with Katie's need for vibrant young companions, comes Tom's need for absolute control over his environment. Perhaps that's why the security conscious actor has install closed circuit cameras , motion detectors, and surveillance equipment to cover every square inch of his compound. This is probably a wise move for a high profile celebrity with a family. You can't be sure when some kook is gonna come flying out of the woodwork. However Katie can't help feeling spied on, by those electric eyes that following everything in Casa del Cruise. How can she be sure that the cameras are there to keep the crazies out, or to keep her in the gilded cage?

In fact it seems like the pressure is beginning to get to Katie. She always had a reputation for being a sweet kid - except with her Dawson's Creek cast mates. Now she's beginning to lash out at the hired help. Reports are leaking out accusing Ms Cruise of 'bitchiness'. When one of the housekeepers was making Tom his morning smoothie, Kate walked up, took a few sips, and then said she'd tell Tom the the housekeeper did it. The poor woman was terrified. Of course Katie didn't actually go through with it, but merely wanted to see the woman squirm. The giddy thrill of such petty rebellion both allows Katie to vent, and gives her the illusion that she has some control over her world. In a similar vein of petty rebellion Katie also likes to try on her numerous outfits, then leaves them lying on the floor for the maids to pick up. That sounds terrible until you think about it: since there's nothing she can really do, what difference does it make?

Perhaps this is why Katie recently made a bid for more space and freedom in the relationship. She's taken a role on Broadway - yes the rumors are true. Katie has signed on for a 6 month run of Arther Miller's All My Sons. If she was counting on alone time, she was to be sadly disappointed. Tom has decided to pull up stake and join her. Tom and his millions are looking for swanky Manhattan digs, plus a roomier place outside city limits. So Katie can count on even more quality time with her family. The pressure of doing a Broadway play 5 to 8 times a week, plus the martial strains might not be good for her nerves; Katie is looking extremely stressed out in recent photos. Hopefully she doesn't crack up and join Brooke Hogan in a padded cell. Then again this relationship has lasted much longer than anyone expected. You can call this "to be continued". As they say in the business 'the show must go on'. Now the really are no people like show people are there?

Random Gossip: John McCain's controversial support, the Rev John Hagee, has made more inflammatory comments. This time he claimed that Hitler was doing God's will. Sounds like the pastor has a low opinion of God. If only the Republicans had shown that kind of understanding toward Saddam Hussein, we might have saved our selves 8 hard years, and a lot of money at the pumps! As a rule, or sweeping generalization, the Republicans seem to think that Hitler wasn't so bad, and that sex isn't so good. Perhaps that's why people are scared of them!

The Right's position seems an odd turn about on the old 60's slogan "Make love, not war", only their version is "Make war, practice abstinence". They seem intent on turning the clock back 100 years, by putting prayer into the classroom, and guns into the hands of, well everybody. It will discourage mad snipers from running amok in the nation's school. Mutually assured destruction will be enough of a deterrent to keep everyone else from launching into a wild shooting spree. On the bright side, they do want to curb overseas spending. That is unless it's in an effort to bring freedom to some reluctant part of the world, by killing everyone. Now you can't be oppressed if you're dead, can you? The logic is just flawless, if just a bit too severe for human nature to handle!

That sort of pro Hilter shit didn't fly when Will Smith said it, and Hagee is even less likely to get a pass on it. The public is almost as tired of hearing about Hilter as they are of hearing about Britney Spears. Celebrities, and other crack pots, have taken the fun straight out of facism (After John Wayne and the movies worked so long and hard to put the fun into it)! Yet John McCain may not have to worry too much. I seem to remember reading about one study in which American College students, when shown pictures of Charlie Chaplin and Adolph Hitler, were unable to distinguish between the Great Dictator, and the Little Tramp. Maybe the mustache threw them? Then again isn't there a Little Tramp inside every great dictator? Besides, I'm sure that the pastor's comments were taken entirely out of context, but you can judge for yourself, by linking to the Huffington Post.

Post Script: Though both Tom and Katie insist that this arrangement is for real, Katie hasn't done the one thing that a women in love would be expected to do. No matter how much bad press there is, or how much poor Tom has mocked, Katie hasn't stepped forward to defend her husband. She has yet to tell the public that they've got the father of her child all wrong. What woman would sit idly by while her husband is ridiculed? Perhaps what she hasn't said is the most telling. That brings us to our Wondertrash thought of the day:

All I want is a little more than I'll ever get.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant