Wondertrash®

No one would disagree that Angelina Jolie has a screw loose. She's based her whole career and image on being a potentially dangerous head case. She has admitted being a 'cutter' - some one who mutilates themselves to gain relief from their inner conflicts. She has also had a rocky love life. Her interest in bondage is no secret, and for a while she was a major player in the NYC BDSM scene. Jolie explained that sex games were a way of making sex more real.

She's also on her third major relationship, with partner Brad Pitt. The first was back in 1996, to her Hackers co star John Lee Miller. She jilted him in 1999 for her Pushing Tin co star Billy Bob Thorton. They were Hollywood's new original odd couple. In many ways this was her most colorful relationship. She and Billy Bob wore vials of each others blood, as a way of staying connected where ever they were. This was also when Jolie began her impulse adoptions, starting with Maddox. When she and Billy Bob split, she immediately had the paper work changed to make Brad his new daddy, instead of Billy Bob, who had already adopted him. Oh yeah, and there were all those creepy rumors about her brother John Haven, that she seemed so defensive about.

Angelina Jolie has even deliberately played off the crazy rep to hype her image. When her role as a schizophrenic in Girl Interrupted clicked with the public AJ knew the angle she had to play. Every time she opened her world famous over sized mouth, she uttered some new inanity, like having hired a hit man to kill her. Her explanation for that was that she wanted to spare her family the guilt associated with a suicide. Having her father, the slightly famous actor John Voight, threaten to commit her to a nut house only seemed to heighten her appeal and creditability. The tabloids talked about a father-daughter feud for a while, but as Jolie got more famous, Voight got busier. She certainly wasn't using her enormous influence to stop him from working.

The crazy girl act was fun for a while, but some where along the line, the sales resistant media savvy public seemed to catch on. Maybe it was her relationship with Brad Pitt. For a girl who 'didn't give a damn' (and that's why we loved her), she suddenly seemed very concerned about how the relationship could affect her image. She told a lot of lies too. She denied that she was with Pitt even after they'd been together for a year. She denied that she'd set out to trap Pitt on the set of Mr & Mrs Smith, although she later admitted in an interview that she and Pitt were already intimate while filming the movie. Even now I don't think she has officially confirmed being with Pitt. Why bother now?

Jolie seemed to be equivocating more than Bill Clinton in front of a congressional impeachment hearing. That was odd behavior for a woman who claimed that she didn't care what people thought. Also for a woman who always presented her self as 'wild at heart', she seemed very clingy and dependent on a guy most people pegged as a dim wit, and mentally beneath her (In fact Brad's blank "L'il Abner gaze makes Keanu Reeves look deep in comparison).

So just when everyone was wondering whether there was any genuine crazy among the BS, the Jolie Drug Tape emerges. This hot little number was reputedly taped back in the 90's, just before Angelina broke through big. It features Jolie and some friends enjoying themselves on a night out. While they sit around the table talking, heroin is brewing up on a burner. When it's ready, Jolie slaps her enormous lips around the end of the pipe, and has a good draw. She then declares that the stuff is 'high grade shit', and not the 'cheapo crap that's been stepped on'. The lady knows her junk, and may even be a connoisseur. Then again Jolie seems to be an expert on high grade shit of all sorts.

Now Jolie has gone on to comment about her heroin days, with more of the usual gibberish. She says that she hates heroin, because she loves it (I guess that her feelings about adopting children and helping the world's underprivileged are less intense!). That's why she would never do it. Then again, every one who's ever done a yoga or meditation class over the past 25 years knows that paradox is a common dodge. 5 years ago people might have thought 'wow'. Now they're wondering if her veins are sticking out because she's back on smack. Man did her act ever get old! This may seem pretty blunt, but as a licensed fool, it's my job to say what everyone else is thinking. Besides, I think everyone's caught on that for a wild at heart gal, she does an awful lot of explaining.

Post Script: The Jolie heroin tape has sold over the Internet for $70 000, that's 10 000 more than the Marylin Munroe sex vid, and is expected to be resold for as much as $1 million! In Hollywood, fake crazy will beat real crazy every time! Then again, we haven't heard the last of Britney Spears yet. Alas, I still remember the good old days, when going crazy was only a way to stay out of the army, and not a career option. Homosexuality seems to be headed in the same direction.

Holy Toledo!