Wondertrash®

Have the Hare Krishna's succeeded where Alcoholics Anonymous failed? Nick Nolte seems to think so. Nick, who has had substance issues through out his life, had fallen off the wagon hard in the past few years. It wasn't unusual to occasionally seem him out in public wearing his robe and slippers. While giving an interview to a Toronto radio station, he lamented at length about his inability to get erections at his age. During a promo at Sundance Film Festival, while he was shopping, he pulled out some money to pay for his purchases. The wad was a mixture of American and Canadian money, prompting Nolte to ask "What country are we in?" He didn't have a clue, and could've used a cue card, almost as much as a credit card.

Smooth hands, rough face - an actor's life?

His boozing was bad enough before, but recently intensified. The usual array of tattle tales and tabloid sell outs: friends, employees, colleagues, and acquaintances, have described the inside of his home has being littered with empty vodka bottles. Enough apparently to keep even Lindsay herself in that Lohan state of mind.

Notle's drinking has finally gotten to his younger girlfriend, 39 (read 45) year old Clytie Lane. When she began seeing a formerly famous actor, and some one still important enough to know people, she may have expected something more. Staying home all day and nursing a cranky, impotent alcoholic with vomit over the front of his PJ's may not have been the mission that she signed on for.

So Clytie took control of the situation - Hollywood Style. She send for the nearest available religious cult to come over and start messing with Notle's head. (It was already messy enough in there, so I suppose that some amateur mind fucking won't make matters worse.) This turned out to be the Hare Krishna's. They drop over every evening to Nolte's Malibu spread. (Speaking of Malibu, Nick Notle was the first person that Mel Gibson turned to for guidance after his high profile fuck up. While it does give Nolte bragging rights as a 'guru to fallen stars', it hasn't worked out well for Mel. Just a case of the blind leading the blind.) Then they start their chanting.

Something about the drum circles and the mantras seems to have done Notle a world of good. He's completely lost the desire to drink. He's done a spring cleaning number on his medicine cabinet (if that cabinet could only talk!), and even throw out the Aspirin. Who needs Demerol when you've got Cosmic Love going for you? It's said that Nick even joins in the chanting, and claims that it relaxes him. While this stuff seems to be working better than a full course of Scientology auditing, there's one thing that I don't get: Nick claims that the chanting has removed his desire to drink, but listening to that airport caterwauling all day would drive me to the bottle (No big deal, it was on the way.)! Still, if they can cure Nolte, maybe they could do something for Kris Kristofferson and Jan Michael Vincent.

Nick Nolte Trivia:

Nolte went to a public high school at Omaha Benson High School. While he was at Omaha Benson High School he was the kicker on the football team. Nolte got kicked out of Benson for digging a hole and hiding beer before practice and then he got caught drinking it during a practice session.

In 1962, Nolte was given five years probation for selling fake draft cards.

Nolte was the first choice to play Superman in the 1978 film starring Christopher Reeve. He also lost the role of Han Solo to Harrison Ford in the 1977 classic, Star Wars.

Nick Nolte entertainment quote:

"Early on in my film career, when I started getting interviewed, I decided I was going to lie to the press, since I didn't think I had anything to say that was really of value. Over the years, I've just lied about a lot of things...I've sometimes found it a little difficult to know who I am. And when the media insisted on finding out, I just flat-out told a lot of different stories. When I did North Dallas Forty, I invented this history that I'd played college football. One year, I told some reporter that my first wife, who I had recently divorced, had been a high-wire performer in the circus. It ended up in a national magazine. She called me up and said, "Nick, why would you say a thing like that?"

Random Gossip: Nicole Kidman has been replaced as the face of Channel No 5 by Audrey Tautou. Most people seem to think that this is a good thing.

Ashley Simpson announced that she going to marry Peter Wentz, of Fall Out Boy, sometime in the next week or two. Now she ain't knocked up, is she??

This is completely unsubstantiated, but if it's true, then remember that you herd it here first: Aishwarya Rai may or may not be pregnant! It's got to be one of those two right? How's that for hedging my bets?

Wondertrash thought of the day: Parade of the meat puppets

Actors are basically news readers with artistic pretensions. If you look good, and can project some personality while reading lines off of a cue card, then success is only a matter of screwing the right people.