Wondertrash®

Demi Moore may not have made a movie in a while, but she does have a full time job - turning back time. The former Brat Packer may not be climbing into hyperbaric chambers with Keanu Reeves, but she's tried everything else. She's spared no expense either. Then again she has a hunky younger husband to keep her insecure. Worse still this full time job doesn't pay, but it does cost plenty.

Well the bill for Demi's extensive 'rejuvenation' treatments has leaked, and it's whopping! Demi has resorted to artificial preservation dating back to her Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle days. For instance, in preparation for that film, in which she was to appear along side such young lovelies as Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, and Juicy Lucy Lui, Moore subjected herself to a head to foot, $400 000 personal renovation 'overhaul'. For instance Demi downsized her breast implants, she had her pot belly liposuctioned, as well as her buttocks and thighs, and she finished it off with collagen lip injections and porcelain dental caps!

The trouble with all that work is that artificial youth is even briefer than the natural kind. So Demi has had to have constant touch ups. Her war on age includes a Hi-tech arsenal that would impress even Iron man! For instance Demi regularly subjects herself to Botox treatments - to irradicate those pesky wrinkles, more collagen injections (she'll soon be able to suck the rivets out of steel plating - just like Lisa Rina!) and special laser resurfacing! Now the Botox alone isn't cheap. It costs $1000 a pop and has to be done 3 times a year. The Collagen cost $700 per (whether per lip, or per treatment is unknown), and laser resurfacing costs $2000. That's pricey, but then again lasers don't come cheap!

That's by no means the extent of it. Demi also employs many 'out patient' treatments. She has weekly VeleSmooth treatments, in the convenience and privacy of her own home. That's to break down the cellulite that keeps building up on her butt and thighs. If only science could find a use for it, perhaps as a new form of heat shielding for the space shuttle!

Demi also uses many 'natural' methods to hang on to the appearance of dewy eyed youth - or as close as she can come to that nowadays. Demi has a 500 an hour personal trainer, Rob Parr, to work on her butt and waistline, not to mention the loose flesh that's starting to hang off her upper knees. Demi also as her won nutritionist on retainer for $22 000 a year. No word on whether Demi is the only client. She also has a yoga instructor and a kick boxing coach. They charge $500 per hour each.

Once the foundation is taken care of, that leaves the facade. Demi has her own personal make up artist and a fashion consultant. They earn $30 000 and $15 000 respectively. That's a lot of money to basically rummage around Demi's spacious walk in closet (with room for a pony) and decide what she should wear today.

After all that, Demi is ready to leave the house, and face the world. So it's off to the hair salon. It's no blue rinse for her however. Demi gets the full treatment - a $5000 color and shine! Demi seems to think that the result is well worth it. Good genes, healthy living, plus medical grade skin care and chemical peels have helped the 40+ actress maintain the appearance of a well preserved 39 year old. Poor Ashton Kutcher does look a little worn out these days. Dealing with a middle aged woman's insecurities seems to have knocked some of the cockiness out of him. Now I could've told him it was a bad idea from the beginning - no matter how much she's worth or who she knows! Well some good has come out of this. Now you know where the money is. Aging is a growth industry in America! It is a relief that Demi hasn't started bathing in the blood of virgins, yet. Then again one of those hasn't been seen in Hollywood in ages.

Now that America's Next Little Slut Miley Cyrus has made the pages of Vanity Fair, for little more than being 15, and willing to take some clothes off, the pressure is really on these old broads!

Wondertrash Show Business Quote:

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.
Natalie Wood

... or perhaps into a toad, by means of black magic.