Wondertrash®

We haven't heard from Heather Mills in about 15 minutes, well not since she showed up at the Miss America Pageant with lopsided tits, got booed, and was told to behave herself by Donny Osmond of all people (Reality TV is providing us with such a rich vista). Well you 'll be interested (maybe not) to know that Heather has a new crusty old billionaire all lined up. It seems that Heather had a special Tet-a-Tet with pageant organizer Donald Trump. Fair Heather was very upset about some of the details of her contract. Seems that Heather's nose was out of joint because she expects to get repaid if the footage is re sold. The idea being that if the show is a hit, then it's obviously because of her. A source told the New York Post newspaper: "She flat out refused to sign her contract because she wants to get paid if they re-sell the footage. Her ego is enormous, and it's getting bigger by the minute. She believed that if the show got high ratings, it would be because of her. She treated this like she was starring in a big-budget movie." A big ego that's getting bigger by the minute? I'm sure that's something Donald can respect, or at least relate to. (Didn't she help Sir Paul's career, by getting him more press than he's received since his Beatle days?? Now where's his gratitude?)

Well Heather wasn't above using her feminine wiles, such as they may be, to try and soften Donald up. Trump has a well known weakness for bad comb overs and attractive young women - or 'younger' perhaps being a more appropriate choice of words , but this time he wasn't buying it. "Heather took Donald to dinner at Koi the night before the pageant. She was flirting with him, and she was really working it. She was unprofessional, but he said, 'Let her do it anyway.' " By "took him to dinner" can we assume that she was paying? Glad to see that the Beatle billions are being well spent, and that the 60's weren't all in vain (Never fear Flower Children, we'll always have the drugs!).

It appears that Heather isn't finished making a spectacle of herself. Still, this is the age of the macabre, so I feared that Heather might have just enough novelty appeal to swing it, Trump wise that is. Maybe she could hit on David Hasselhoff next. He seems like her type - 60ish, rich, and judgmentally impaired. The subsequent Reality TV series alone might make it worth their while! Besides, if Hasselhoff isn't interested either, then I know of one crusty old billionaire who might be right up her alley!

Supposedly pregnant and allegedly 'genetic male' Nicole Kidman (It's rumored that Nic suffers from an abnormality called AIS - sometimes called 'the Supermodel Disease') is still insisting that she's pregnant. In fact Nic claims that she's getting morning sickness. She told US TV show Access Hollywood: "I've had severe morning sickness but apart from that I'm good actually, really good." The morning sickness hasn't slowed down her grueling work out routine any. In fact Kidman maintains a regime that would put Madonna to shame, including a 2 or 3 hour daily run in the mountains, not to mention rowing, and 'high impact spinning classes'!

Mercurygirl Jill Wagner will be signing autographs from 1 to 5 p.m. Saturday at the Pittsburgh International Auto Show at the David Lawrence Convention Center. So if you've got some free time this weekend, and you're in the area, then you've got to put Mercurygirl on your list!

Is Mary Kate Olson's dress too big, or is she shrinking??

So does this make me look thin or what?

Don't look to long at that (not that you would). I think she's giving mal occhio - the evil eye.

Perhaps Rick Moranis and his wacky home inventions have something to do with this.

Guess what the top models make per annum - well here is Wondertrash's own version of the "Sunshine List".

Gisele Bundchen, 26: $33M

Kate Moss, 33: $9M

Heidi Klum, 34: $8M

Adriana Lima, 26: $6M

Alessandra Ambrosio, 26: $6M

Carolyn Murphy, 31: $5M

Natalia Vodianova, 25: $4.5M

Karolina Kurkova, 23: $3.5M

Daria Werbowy, 22: $3.5M

Gemma Ward, 19: $3M

Though they are not the house hold names that Cindy Crawford was, they are more well paid then every before. Partly perhaps because they don't ask for the moon. Also most of them are foreigners, and not spoilt Americans girls, so they are happy with what they get. Even though she looks like the kind of girl who would be happy with an apartment, and invites to A Lister parties, it seems that Gisele Bundchen makes even more than Alex Rodriguez, who earns a hefty 25 million per year. If only he'd known that there was so much money to be made in parading around in underwear. Perhaps that's what possessed Oscar De La Hoya to parade around in fishnets.

Hey, he's a lumberjack and he's OK! It must be said though that he is no longer in the superb condition he once was, nor is he even in the state of freakish over conditioning that Madonna now is (recent pix show Madge looking as muscled up as a cart horse. She even lamented in one interview that Guy Ritchie no longer has sex with her. He blamed this turn of events on a new diet - one that consists of only low calorie cookies. I blame his lose of interest on the monstrosity that he has to face every night!). To be fair, it would be hard for anyone to be as much a man as Madonna, except perhaps for Hilary Clinton.

and now...

Random Wondertrash eye candy:

Just a couple of foxes!

Entertainment Trivia: Age fabrication

Age fabrication refers to lying about one's age, and specifically the tendency of actresses claim that they are several, and in some cases many, years yo0ung than their actual age. The term is most closely associated with "39 forever but 69 with Michael" Catherine Zeta Jones. Ms Jones has been saying that she was born in 1969 for some time now. No body really believed her - no matter how much she went on insisting, especially since her face started looking more leathery than Teri Hatcher's. Well it seems that a few years back CZJ, and her sugar daddy Michael Douglas, were on a trip to Washington DC, for some sort of high level hobnobbing. A routine back ground check revealed the truth. CZJ was infact born about, or circa as the literati say when they're trying to come off pretentious, 1959. This has been confirmed by some plastic surgeons who examined photos of her withered visage. The same surgeons also claim that Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas is at least 40, and that she's done a ton of meth!

Wondertrash thought of the day:

The way is so easy that men must make it difficult.
- Lao Tzu

I call it 'performance neurosis'. It means that some one judges their self worth by their accomplishments, and the value of their accomplishments by the difficulty involved in achieving them. This can reach the point where "nothing that's worth doing is easy", also known as "trouble for trouble's sake". Remember that when you're a human doing, you're no longer really a human being. You are reduced to a will in search of a way, much like the ever restless shark in search of it's next meal. "Wisdom is knowing when to stop", as Lao Tzu also says. Our motivated and overarching overachieving show business friends, such as Madonna, seem as if they never know when to stop. Still, try not to be too hard on them. Remember that every celebrity was once a small and innocent child, nursing an over powering urge to go out and conquer the world (rather than to merely live at peace in it)!

I think that one of the wisest and most eloquent antithesis to the 'trouble for trouble's sake' point of view comes from one of the all time great movies, "A Man For All Seasons":

“God made the angels to show him splendor—as he made animals for innocence and plants for their simplicity. But Man he made to serve him wittily, in the tangle of his mind! If he suffers us to fall to such a case that there is no escaping, then we may stand to our tackle as best we can, and yes, Will, then we may clamor like champions...if we have the spittle for it. And no doubt it delights God to see splendor where He only looked for complexity. But it’s God’s part, not our own, to bring ourselves to that extremity! Our natural business lies in escaping....”

"Live a quiet life" Sir Thomas advised his ambitious protege Richard. It was advice that the late Paul Scofield was himself to follow -

I never heard that Scofield had any religious convictions, though he was highly praised for his role as the whisky priest in Graham Greene’s The Power and the Glory. But he was known as a profoundly humble man, who turned down the offer of knighthood three times and preferred the stage to Hollywood and his home in the country to the limelight. Perhaps there was a bit of the humility of Thomas More in Paul Scofield.