Wondertrash®

Your dose of gossip before the weekend begins, and you go off to more important things:

Pete Doherty, who's no longer Teflon now that he's no longer with Kate Moss, has finally gotten an over due dose of reality, in the form of a prison sentence. Not that it's curbed his drug related mischief. Reports have it that Pete's still shooting up! With behavior like that he may not be getting out anytime soon. Perhaps that's why his Babyshambles band mates are resorting to Plan B. They're playing a series of gigs, and in the absence of the fearless leader, are selling off some of his most personal possession to help raise money. A pal tells The Sun: “Pete’s mates, people he really trusts, have been flogging his stuff to get some cash, including some of the horrible paintings he did using his blood. The chap selling those, one of his closest friends, was begging for no one to tell him. Then the next day he was back with something else.” What do you think the chances are that some sleazy sex tape is gonna surface? Watch out for Kate Moss! Well it is times like this that you fins out who your friends are, or if you even have any.

The unanswered question is: Who the hell was Moss sleeping with to keep Doherty's ass out of the can for so long? My guess is Sir Richard Branson!

While poor Pete languishes away at Wormwood Scrubs, fellow drug addict Blake Civil Fielder is over at Pentonville Prison, pining away for his scab infested lady love Amy Winehouse. Amy seemed on the verge of a messy drug fueled train wreck of a break down after Blake got arrested for perverting the course of justice - referring to his attempt to pay off the bartender he previously beat the crap out of. She wigged out at one British venue, and began calling the audience a pack of 'monkey cunts', before dissolving in tears and running off of the stage.

Well the good news is that Amy is up and full of beans again! She failed to visit Pentonville for Blakey's 26 birthday yesterday. Also friends say that she is living like a single woman. Blake's dad Mitch - and what a proud man he must be - has said “It wouldn’t surprise me if Amy and Blake had broken up.” So Blake really is a Son of a Mitch!

Remember when poor Jessica Simpson was hospitalized a few months back with a kidney infection. Everyone said 'poor girl' because they thought that this was legitimate, and not self induced Lindsday Lohan style exhaustion. Well the inside story is leaking on that. Jessica really did have a kidney infection, and a urinary tract infection, and a bladder infection - all brought on though an 'obscene' amount of alcohol. Jess also asked the good people at Cedar's Sinai (that death trap!) to perform a pregnancy test. Seems that Jess was late and feared the worst. Insiders say that she was practically on the verge of a breakdown - "She was a nervous wreck," continues the source. "She was three weeks late and convinced she was pregnant. She was feeling really weak and really scared. She was unraveling."

Consider this confirmation that Kate Hudson is as big a bitch as everyone says. Kate is currently filming Bride Wars with Anne Hathaway. Seems that some tension is developing on the set, from Hudson related bitchiness. Seems that Kate referred to Anne's boyfriend Rafaello Folliere as a "loser". This was in regards to Raf's recent misfortune - passing a bad check for $250 000 when he only had $39 in his account (what happened to all that money he allegedly embezzled - blown already?). Now the official story is that none of this is true. Unofficially Anne's friends say that she's trying to keep positive.

Hudson's last public drama was when former boyfriend Owen Wilson tried to commit suicide after their bust up. Kate made a public display of grief and tears, meanwhile was busy seeing some other dude. She didn't get around to getting back to Owen until she heard that he was over her and getting close to some one else - namely Jennifer Aniston. The general consensus seemed to be that Hudson was a narcissistic, vicious, manipulative little bitch, and a poor choice of bedmates if you happen to have issues with depression and drug addiction. Besides she's extremely over rated - though she seems to believe every syllable of her own hype.

Kate Beckinsale is raising her consciousness. She made waves recently by discussing the Japanese mushroom growing out of her rear end. She claims that it's her best feature, and that only three of 4 men have ever been in what she refers to as The Pharaoh's Tomb. Well it seems that Kate's gotten her brains upo out of her backside lately. Now her mind is on her breasts. Seems that Ms Beckinsale is being driven to her wit's end (that's beginning to sound like a fairly short trip) by talks that the twins aren't real. Somewhere between Pearl Harbor and The Aviator things seemed to expand, and so talk started. Now Kate is sick of it. Says Beckinsale : "The boob job thing has driven me to despair. I'm not discussing my breasts with anyone but my husband and my daughter from now on. I think once you start saying, 'No, I haven't' too many times, it sounds as if you're protesting too much." As for her vagina, well that's still open for discussion! So what will we call that small band of extraordinary gentleman who've been in the Pharaoh's Tomb, and returned to see the light of day again? Surely not The Tomb Raiders!

Now for your Wondertrash weekend eye candy, here is the lovely Gisele Bundchen with her guitar. Every Latin American supermodel should own one!

Speaking personally, I have never seen her look more beautiful. The lady is miles too good for Tom Brady!

Speaking of Victoria's Secret models, link to Egotastic for nude photos of Miranda Kerr.

Would you like the finer points of blogging reduced to a simple and easy to follow flow chart? Then head on over to Zaiusnation, where your prayers have been answered! Once you get this down, you'll be opining with the best of 'em. Who's to say where that might lead. Sean Hannity started his career by make a nuisance of himself on a few local morning call in shows. Too bad that trick hasn't worked for the more genuinely entertaining JC Webster, of CoasttocoastAM fame!

It's been mentioned that Dutch born model/actress Daniella van Graas is going to go boldly where no woman has gone before, by playing Jesus. The film is called Jesus Cooks Me Breakfast, and features Daniella as Jesus in one of his many guises. Well here's a preview pic of Daniella as Jesus.

... and especially those who base their world view on their inner conflicts and personal neurosis.

Wondertrash quote of the day:

“I don’t think you need to die for your art.”
Alice Cooper