Wondertrash®

By now everyone and there mother (by the way, Happy Mother's Day) has heard about Paris Hilton's misfortunes. The flighty heiress carelessly violated her parole, and is now about to be sent off for 45 days in the LA county jail. Sentence to commence no later than June 5th.

Paris feels that her sentence is cruel and unfair. Considering that Lindsay Lohan, Pete Doherty, and Naomi Campbell still walk free, I'm inclined to think that this time she might have a point. It's a half truth at the very least! Why the poor dear wasn't even given the option of community service, like Naomi Campbell was, after the headstrong ubermokel beat the snot out of several personal assistants, and her drug counsellor!

Well now the Hilton Saga has taken a new turn. it seems that a request for a criminal pardon has been filed, in the state of California, on behalf of Ms. Hilton. There is even a petition to back it up, addressed to no less a personage than the California Governator himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger .

Now Arnold is aware of the existence of this petition. According to Model's Blog, it was met with mockery, and laughed off his desk. The governor’s press secretary, Aaron McLear, said: “The petition will be treated no differently than any other request filed to the governor’s office. The governor only acts in extraordinary circumstances.” Paris' mom Kathy Hilton, has a different take on it. In USA Today she said : “This is pathetic and disgusting, a waste of taxpayers’ money with all this nonsense. This is a joke.” Glad Mom sees the humour in it. Happy Mother's Day!

Meanwhile movie heart throb Orlando Bloom has lapsed into paranoia, and started hanging out in cyber space! Word has it that the hunky Pirates star has a Facebook.com page, under an alias. It seems that Orlando has lost the ability to trust women. He's afraid that they only want him for his wealth, fame, and good looks, instead of for the person that he really is. Whoever that might be. So he has taken to using Facebook as a filtering system, to weed out the groupies, the wannabes, and the goldbrickers. The reasoning behind it is, if the gals don't know who he is, then they'll respond to who he virtually is. Complicated?

Well I think it's great that Orlando still tries to keep in touch with the person that he used to be. Also I think that with Pirates of the Caribbean 3 coming out soon, this is just some cheesy attempt to hype the movie. It's something along the lines of "Win a date with Orlando". Halle Berry tried something similar when Perfect Stranger came out. She made frank and startling confessions about low self esteem, poor self image, and suicide attempts. It might even have been true, but the timing was suspicious. Once upon a time, that sort of 'heart to heart' would've been Oprah's job. Since Tom Cruise, no one wants to risk it!

One word of advice to Orlando, 'if you're going to look for love online, be sure to stay away from Shoreditch!'

Penelope Cruz is back in the news. She 1st shot in to the public eye, much like a high school spit ball, or a bug into the face of a speeding motorcyclist, when she began dating a certain high profile, closeted homosexual actor (in Follywood, that could be anyone!). They went their seperate ways, and she even dated Orlando Bloom for awhile, provoking incredulous comments from message boards posters such as "I didn't know he was gay".

The only serious relationship that she's had of late seems to have been with Mexican actress Salma Hayek. The two were often spotted together - holding hands, and other things, kissing, and generally being flirtatious. They even did a feature film together, Bandidas. Perhaps Penelope thought that the best way to diffuse the gay rumours was to confront them head on, just like Cindy Crawford did, when she ruined her career and marriage by posing with country music lesbian K.D. Laing on the cover of Vanity Fair.

Salma then got pregnant by her fiance, business mogul, Francois-Henri Pinault. A despondent looking Penelope was seen hanging around LA's Scientology Center, looking for answers. Now she rumoured to be dating the one person in entertainment who can not be accused of being homo, Lenny Kravitz. Well, I hope he doesn't catch 'gay' off her.

Speaking of Wondertrash, did you know that Classical Music is now a contact sport? The Boston Pops was recently the scene of British Soccer hooligan type brawl, as rowdy classical music fans came to blows. One of the combatant's even flipped his wig, literally. Now I hope that this provides food for thought to all those who claim that violent video games are a bad influence. Just in case you think that I'm making this up, here's the youtube video footage.

No word on whether Niles or Fraser were involved.

Entertainment Trivia: Bandidas, the Cruz Hayek project, was written by Milla Jovovich ex Luc Besson. Besson Directed Jovovich in the 5th Element, and The Messager. Luc seems to have a thing for strong women!